Being Okay in the Struggle

Still Healing — and That’s Okay

Life has a way of reminding us that healing isn’t linear. Over the past few months, I’ve been navigating a lot—healing from a broken heart, reflecting on friendships, and unpacking life itself. Some days I feel okay. Other days, I don’t. And that’s normal.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that there’s no time limit for getting over things. You don’t just “snap out” of grief, heartbreak, or disappointment. Sometimes you need to sit in your feelings for a while.

I call it lingerance—giving yourself permission to linger in your emotions. It’s okay to sit with them, as long as you don’t let yourself get stuck there forever.

It’s also fine to miss people or think back on happy memories. That doesn’t make you weak or foolish; it means you cared. And caring says a lot about your character.

Not Being the Best at Something

Lately, I’ve been second-guessing myself in a lot of areas of my life.

Work

At work, I don’t feel like the “corporate America queen” I once did. I’ve been showing up and giving my best, but for months now, I haven’t felt fulfilled. The closer I get to 25, the more pressure I feel to know what I want to do with my life.

And when I don’t have the answer, I start to feel like I’m failing.

But the truth is, none of us have it all figured out. And we’re not supposed to.

Sports & Fitness

Everyone knows I love working out. For years, it’s been part of my identity—especially heavy lifting. But lately, I’ve been hating it.

So, I decided to switch things up and try Pilates on ClassPass (shoutout to ClassPass!). Honestly? I was terrible at it. I didn’t have enough core strength to use the reformer comfortably. The class was too fast, the room too dark, and the whole time I was afraid I’d hurt myself.

At first, I was disappointed. I’ve been “the fit one” since high school. But Pilates just wasn’t for me—and that’s okay. Instead, I’ve been walking more and focusing on core exercises. It’s a slower, gentler season for me, and I’m learning to be okay with that.

Budgeting

I had to sit myself down recently and admit something I’ve been avoiding: I’ve been overspending.

So, I made a rule—no credit card use for the rest of the year, unless it’s a true emergency. My goal is simple: save more, live within realistic means, and practice underspending instead of overspending.

I still want to have fun and enjoy life, but I’m learning that discipline doesn’t mean deprivation. It just means being more intentional about where my money—and energy—goes.

Lazy vs. Relaxing

Lately, I’ve been learning how to date myself and truly enjoy my alone time. But I’ve also been struggling with the difference between being lazy and relaxing.

Like this morning—I woke up at 9 but stayed in bed until 11. Part of me felt guilty, like I was wasting the day. But eventually, I got up, made breakfast, and brewed some coffee.

I’m realizing that rest doesn’t have to be earned. It doesn’t have to look “productive.” I’m trying to redefine what rest means for me outside of my corporate job. Sometimes that’s sleeping in, sometimes it’s walking, journaling, or just sitting in silence.

Learning to Give Yourself Grace

This season has taught me that it’s okay to not be the best at everything. It’s okay to not have your life mapped out at 25—or 35, or 45. It’s okay to outgrow things you once loved, or to miss people you’ve lost touch with.

Being okay in the struggle doesn’t mean you’re thriving. It means you’re showing up. It means you’re trying. It means you’re giving yourself the space and time you need to heal and figure out what’s next.

If you’re in a season like this, know you’re not alone.