Changing Hearts

Over the past week, I watched The Forge and read a passage in Multiply by Francis Chan about discipleship that really stuck with me.

It referenced Ezekiel — a verse that felt like it was written for the season I’m in:

“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you;

I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.”

— Ezekiel 36:26

Then I had one of those long, soul-level conversations with my friend Jordan — we’ve known each other since middle school — and it made me stop and think about everything God’s been doing in my life lately.

Every relationship with the Lord looks different — this is mine.

1. Idolization

“Either He’s Lord, or He’s not.”

That phrase has been sitting with me for weeks. It’s made me look at what I’ve been idolizing — social media, relationships, career goals, even myself.

It’s easy to make good things ultimate things. I’ve realized that when I put something above Him, I start losing peace. For me, pride and ego have been the hardest idols to surrender.

But He’s been softening that part of my heart, teaching me that surrender isn’t weakness — it’s trust. It’s saying, “You are Lord, and I’m not.”

2. Love ( Romantic and Platonic)

“Love is patient, love is kind.”

— 1 Corinthians 13:4

That verse has taken on a new meaning for me. I’m learning that love isn’t just about how I treat others — it’s also about how I see them. It’s how I forgive, how I give grace, and how I choose to show up when it’s not convenient.

Last year, my roommate said something that changed the way I look at people:

“Everyone is an image-bearer.”

That hit me. When you start seeing everyone as made in His image, it’s hard to stay bitter. You naturally become a little kinder, a little slower to judge.

I’ve also been learning to love myself — really love myself.

This past year, I’ve celebrated almost two years of singleness and one full year (almost) of celibacy. I’m proud of that. I’m learning to be patient with me, to have hard conversations with myself, and to give my desires back to Him.

It hasn’t been easy — especially being in my 20s — but I’ve found so much beauty in this season of abstinence. It’s taught me that waiting isn’t punishment; it’s preparation.

3. Grace & Forgiveness

Grace has been one of the biggest lessons lately. Giving it, receiving it, and realizing that both are forms of love.

I’ve been learning to forgive — even when it doesn’t make sense. Forgiving others, yes, but also forgiving myself for who I was before I knew better.

Sometimes, grace looks like saying, “God, I’m trying.”

Sometimes, it looks like silence and starting again.

What’s Changing in Me

There are still a lot of things God’s been shifting in my heart:

Alcohol: I’ve been doing my best not to get drunk. I still love a good night out, and a drink or two but now I go for the laughter — not the escape.

Marijuana: I’ve been sober for a while now, and that’s a huge deal for me. I used to run to it for peace; now I run to Him.

Music: Music has always been a part of who I am. But lately, I’ve noticed I can’t enjoy certain lyrics anymore — lustful or prideful music just doesn’t feed me. And honestly, I think that’s how I fell back in love with music. It’s like God gave me a new ear for it — now I hear differently, and it fills me in a new way.

What I’m Still Working On

Cussing. Still a work in progress.

Loneliness. There are days when I wish someone would check in — someone other than family. When those thoughts come, I catch myself saying, “If I had a man…” or “If I had more single friends…” But this season is teaching me how to sit with myself.

Prayer in the Hard Times. I pray most nights, but when life gets heavy, I tend to reach for distractions instead of Him. There are still days when I think about running to the easy things, instead of him.

Reading the Word has been another challenge. I shy away from it sometimes when it calls me out. But I bought a study Bible recently and made a promise to myself:

Finish Job. Then Psalms. Then the whole Bible — front to back.

Church on Sunday

I go to a Young Adults group here in Atlanta, and it’s been life-giving — hundreds of people from all over the city worshiping together. But if I’m being honest, I still struggle to walk through the doors of Sunday service. Maybe it’s fear of commitment. Maybe it’s fear of being fully known.

What He’s Doing in My Life

The biggest thing God’s doing right now is giving me courage — courage to share Him.

Not in a “shove it down your throat” kind of way.

Every time I get the chance to talk about how good my Father is, I take it.

Because when you’ve seen Him change your heart — when you’ve watched Him take what was broken and make it whole — you can’t stay quiet about it.

Homework:

If you know Jesus — if He’s ever changed your life even in the smallest way — share Him.

Share your story.

There’s so much power in his name!